photo friday .. silence

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calm quiet

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i'm having a hard time lately coming up with ideas to blog about.  things are relatively easy and quiet with my life these days.  which is very unsettling for me. so today, it's not much of a post.  more of a check in.  to remind myself of the things i've gone through. the things i've done. this blog really has become a place of reflection.  i go back and read the early posts.  how naive, and silly i sounded in my 20's.  to how sad and jaded i became after the loss of my beautiful daughter.  to where i am now.  a divorced mom of two boys, in the midst of her 30's, learning to love again. life's short my friends.  love hard, laugh a lot, take in the beauty of every day, no matter how hard it is to find it sometimes. 
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Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

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So.  It's been a few months since I wrote anything.  I've been going through the motions.  Living life, like busy working moms do.   Pretending like life is amazingly fantastic.   But this week.  Oh this week's been a tough one.  I am finding myself in that familiar place.  Dark.  Sad.  Definitely not living my best life.  So many things are hitting me at so many different times, I don't even know how to stand on my own two feet right now. I'm crying all the time.  I'm picking fights with the man who loves me.  I'm yelling at my kids for mundane things.  I don't want to look at myself in the mirror.  I feel so terribly lonely.  Even surrounded by people all the time, I feel lonely.  Because I don't feel like anyone understands me and what I"m going through.  It's not a good look for anyone.  But I don't know how to change it.  I don't know where to start.  So I think puttin...
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a rotten end to the weekend...

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so, i had a great weekend at home with mom and dad.. lots of laughs, and relaxing time with them and alex. i left there in my brother's car to bring it back to chester, and he was going to come to my place tonight for a visit with alex and to have supper, and switch cars with me since he had been driving mine since thursday.. then.. mother nature decided to play the cards she's been hiding all winter.. the snow started the closer i got to halifax and by the time i hit the bedford highway, things were messy.. regardless of that, adam and i flipped my stuff out of his car and into mine for me to make the rest of the trip to chester, just in case he couldn't make it down because of the snow. as i drove down the kearney lake road about to hit the highway to go home, the brake line broke in my car. i lost my brakes, on already slippery roads, and did a 180 degree turn in 3 lanes of traffic.. with a baby in the backseat. talk about scary. so, i called adam back and he came to r...
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