crystal's little corner

May your day be filled with light, love & happiness.  From our home to yours, have a wonderful holiday!

in case there is no tie to post over the next couple of days, merry christmas to all of you, my friend,s family & readers who i may not know!  things have been ok.. this pregnancy is a little less "awful" than the last - with the nausea & headaches, ut still not as textbook as when i was pregnant with alex.  at this point, i'm 12 weeks along, and officially past the 3 month mark.  tuesday i got another ultrasound and go to see the gummy bear.  the baby wasn't really cooperating for us to hear the heartbeat, so we got to see it instead :)  as for christmas, its here whether i like it or not.  i'm as ready as i'm going to be.  it sure isn't the christmas that i expected, i was definitely not expecting to have to pay a visit to the cemetary, but what else can i do?  its so very, very unfair for us, and all the other families who have lost loved ones this year.  but, on the bright side, i have one very excited little boy and that make...

So - today is the big day.  I turn 30. At first, I was a little frazzled by the idea of no longer being in my 20's.  But then, it kind of hit me, that this is the end of the most awful year of my life.  Good bye 29.  Good bye to the last 12 monhs.  It was only 10 days after my birthday last year that we found out Mom was sick.  So, as far as I can see, things can only go up from here.  Helllllllo 30.  ADIOS 29!!!!!

so, i've been on a bit of a break from blogging. it took me a little while to adjust to the idea of being pregnant again. what a range of emotions... fear, happiness, guilt, excitement. but the guilt. oh my. i felt like i was betraying jenna's memory by having another baby so soon. i spent alot of time dealing with that, and yes, i know it's silly to think that way, but that's the mind of a grieving mom i guess. so far, things have been not so bad with this pregnancy. i'm tired alot, and quite nauseous, but nowhere near as miserable as i was when i was pregnant with jenna. we had an ultrasound done last thursday, and got to see the "gummy bear" as everyone has started calling it. baby was measuring perfectly at 9 weeks, and had a heartrate of 174 bpm. that was the most emotional day. the minute that i heard that heartbeat, i dissolved into a quivering mess of tears, just knowing that the last time i'd laid on that bed in that ultrasound room,...