crystal's little corner

we're getting our rainbow baby. :) as of now, the doctors think i'm about 8 weeks along.  wish us luck on this journey.  i hope that you will all continue to read my blog, as it changes, a little bit, yet again. ;)

but a very happy birthday yesterday to my MOM! my mother has shown me in the past year just what strength is.  not only did she make the hardest decision, to place my grandmother in a nursing home, but she battled ovarian cancer, and WON! mom, you have been a rock for our whole family this past year, and without you i don't know what i would do.  i'm proud of you for being a fighter, and even though it was the hardest road we've taken, this year has cemented what we already knew. you are the sticky stuff that holds us all together. love you!! xox

it's so hard to believe that 4 months have passed since i held my baby girl.  i have been spending a lot of time looking back at my blog, and at life in general the last couple of days.  it's amazing to me far the mind & body can come in that short period of time.  i read back on some of my posts and think, whoa.. those were dark days.  things lately feel easier.  like i can get on with things, be a good mom, wife & family member to those that i still have here.  i can breathe a little easier, and i don't get that ache in my chest quite so often. that's not to say that i don't think of jenna every day, but it gets a little easier to talk about her, look at her photo and touch her things.  i have a very special guardian angel.  one that couldn't be any more a part of me than if it was me, myself.  she has a piece of my heart and i can never, ever forget those beautiful chubby cheeks, red pouty lips and fair, fair hair. i love you...

i used to really, really not like rainy days.  i've always been the "get up & go" kind of person who doesn't do well sitting still for long periods of time.  as most of you know, all of nova scotia has been under severe rain fall for the last couple of days.  we've had a massive flood in the basement, roads are closed due to high rivers/lakes & washouts, and i've decided that i can handle the rain. its' very soothing to listen to it.. and there's not alot of things that i find soothing any more.  the beach, and now apparently, rainy days.  what's better then folding laundry & cooking yummy food (turkey dinner, complete with pumpkin pie!), and watching the rain fall? things have been pretty good lately.  i almost feel human again.  i think i am beginning to see the rainbow at the end of the storm.