photo friday .. growth

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calm quiet

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i'm having a hard time lately coming up with ideas to blog about.  things are relatively easy and quiet with my life these days.  which is very unsettling for me. so today, it's not much of a post.  more of a check in.  to remind myself of the things i've gone through. the things i've done. this blog really has become a place of reflection.  i go back and read the early posts.  how naive, and silly i sounded in my 20's.  to how sad and jaded i became after the loss of my beautiful daughter.  to where i am now.  a divorced mom of two boys, in the midst of her 30's, learning to love again. life's short my friends.  love hard, laugh a lot, take in the beauty of every day, no matter how hard it is to find it sometimes. 
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nervous

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tomorrow marks my first day back to work since july 6th. i'm nervous about going back and facing customers who still don't know what happened, but very much looking forward to it at the same time. i love my job, and can't wait to get back to a routine. i'm only going back one day a week until october, and then will be back full time october 4th. we are very fortunate here in canada to still be entitled to 15 weeks of maternity leave after a pregnancy loss after 20 weeks. there are no available earnings so they will deduct whatever i make dollar for dollar but it's worth it to go back to work. i could stay off until the beginning of november on mat leave, and then if i wanted to, take an additional 15 weeks of sick leave, but i want to get back to work so that i can start building up my hours again so when we start trying for another baby, i can re-claim maternity leave. will let you know how it goes tomorrow. i'm doubtful that i'll sleep much tonight t...
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a rotten end to the weekend...

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so, i had a great weekend at home with mom and dad.. lots of laughs, and relaxing time with them and alex. i left there in my brother's car to bring it back to chester, and he was going to come to my place tonight for a visit with alex and to have supper, and switch cars with me since he had been driving mine since thursday.. then.. mother nature decided to play the cards she's been hiding all winter.. the snow started the closer i got to halifax and by the time i hit the bedford highway, things were messy.. regardless of that, adam and i flipped my stuff out of his car and into mine for me to make the rest of the trip to chester, just in case he couldn't make it down because of the snow. as i drove down the kearney lake road about to hit the highway to go home, the brake line broke in my car. i lost my brakes, on already slippery roads, and did a 180 degree turn in 3 lanes of traffic.. with a baby in the backseat. talk about scary. so, i called adam back and he came to r...
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