tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-193870262024-03-13T16:32:23.501-03:00crystal's little cornermy life.. in a nutshell.CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.comBlogger281125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-81443793317419694982020-12-18T22:31:00.002-04:002021-02-24T13:53:51.417-04:00Refresh<p> I’ve been doing alot of thinking lately. 2020 has been an ass kicker. I’m ready to move on. </p><p>I was scrolling Pinterest in my perpetual can’t sleep state. I came across a “how to build social media” schedule. Not that I need to build my profile. I could honestly care less if people read this. This is mostly just written therapy. Although... if you’re a reader, I’d love you to message or comment and let me know!!</p><p>So. Back to the schedule. I going to take this. Modify it. Make it work for me. Then I’m going to find a groove. On my blog. In my online presence. In my real life. So if you know me in real life, you might learn more then you expected. If you’re just finding me. Settle in. </p><p><br /></p><p>I’ve decided 2021 is the year to focus on me. ♥️</p>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-71679754275250256842020-12-07T20:41:00.000-04:002020-12-07T20:41:28.088-04:00What Next?I feel totally lost these days lately. <div><br></div><div>I love my kids and my partner. But I’m lost. In a house full of people I feel lonely. I don’t know even how to explain it. </div><div>Life’s busy. Chaotic. I’m exhausted. To the bone. </div><div><br></div><div>Looming is a big milestone. My 40th birthday. Our first Christmas without my mom. Health issues for my dad who just spent 2 weeks in the hospital. </div><div><br></div><div>And through it all? I’m the constant. I’m the caretaker. And I’m literally lost at wondering who’s going to take care of me when I break? </div>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-37047891535606332482020-09-22T11:31:00.001-03:002020-09-22T11:31:09.528-03:00unsettled<p> I've been trying to take myself on a journey. </p><p>I am living a good life. I have a stable job. I have healthy, happy children. I have a partner who loves me. I live in a beautiful home, and I have a small but amazing group of friends.</p><p>But I feel like something is missing. I feel like I am just putting in time - but until what? </p><p>I've been listening to this amazing podcast - this girl has the drive and passion to make me feel motivated to find a passion, to find something that I'm missing. But I have NO idea what that is! What makes me tick? What drives me? Why do I feel like I need to do something more?</p><p>Howwwwww do I find that missing puzzle piece?</p><p>Check out my girl Kacia if you're looking to get motivated too! https://www.kaciafitzgerald.com/blog/</p><p>And if you have ANY idea on how to help me find that passion and drive, reach out! Slide into my messages!</p>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-32789140887298453502020-08-05T18:00:00.001-03:002020-08-05T18:00:06.402-03:00Gimme a break!I was chatting with a friend and co-worker today about life.. how overwhelmed and unhappy I am. <div><br /></div><div>She very nicely told me to give myself a break. We are living in a new, uncertain world. Take a minute. Reflect on everything. Give yourself a minute. You aren't expected to "breeze through all this shit". </div><div><br /></div><div>So today, I went for a walk. I worked out. And then I meditated. I have never been one to do any of these things on a regular basis. A walk, sure. But I get bored ten seconds in. So today, I put on some kind of "positivity" podcast and trekked for 20 minutes or so. I felt ... ok. Silly, but ok. </div><div><br /></div><div>On my lunch break, I did a 20 minute workout. It challenged me. It made me feel more focused when I went back to my work for the afternoon. This made me appreciate it a little more. I could see this becoming a more regular occurrence.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then I meditated. This. This is scary. I have no interest in being along with my own thoughts for so long. But a mantra came out of it. Inhale - Let, Exhale Go. I'm going to try this in my day to day more often.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't get me wrong. I'm still an unhappy soul. But just for a minute or two today... I was able to focus on me. There are so many things that get under our skin. Mine is a little more tender lately I find. I've been spending so much time reflecting on the things that I've been through. So many things that for so many years I have thought - No one should have to go through this much bad to find a little bit of good. When's my time going to come? Who knows. None of us do. We all have our blessings, our trials and tribulations. I know that to people who look at my life from the outside, that it looks charmed. But do you ever stop to wonder what's going on behind someone's doors? And no - I'm not talking literal doors - I'm talking about the doors and walls we put up to protect ourselves from hurt. Or the doors we refuse to open because once we do, the tears won't stop? </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-64853583384642988402020-07-31T08:39:00.003-03:002020-07-31T08:39:26.866-03:00Hello Darkness, My Old FriendSo. It's been a few months since I wrote anything. I've been going through the motions. Living life, like busy working moms do. Pretending like life is amazingly fantastic. <div><br /></div><div>But this week. Oh this week's been a tough one. I am finding myself in that familiar place. Dark. Sad. Definitely not living my best life. So many things are hitting me at so many different times, I don't even know how to stand on my own two feet right now.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm crying all the time. I'm picking fights with the man who loves me. I'm yelling at my kids for mundane things. I don't want to look at myself in the mirror. I feel so terribly lonely. Even surrounded by people all the time, I feel lonely. Because I don't feel like anyone understands me and what I"m going through. It's not a good look for anyone. But I don't know how to change it. I don't know where to start. So I think putting it down in writing might be the first step.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm approaching the end of my 30's. I want to be a better version of myself. But how - how do I shake this never-ending darkness that has seeped into my bones?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-6657301645931791562020-03-05T11:19:00.003-04:002020-03-05T11:19:41.534-04:00My Mom DiedThat might be the hardest 3 words I've ever had to say, write or read.<br />
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My mom died. Cancer took her on February 22, 2020.<br />
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This is a pain that I cannot comprehend. The worst kind of pain. I miss her every minute. I feel guilty when an hour goes by and I don't feel sad. I know she wouldn't want that. I know she'd want us to celebrate her life, be proud of her strength, and live a life worth living.<br />
<br />
But. What happens when you lose your best friend? She's been by my side through every single minute of my entire life. She loved me, laughed with me, cried with me, held me in her arms as I lost my only daughter, stayed with me when my seperation happened, held my hand when my babies were born, and celebrated every single milestone in my life by my side.<br />
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I used to call her every single day. Every night like clockwork, I'd pick up the phone, dial that ever familiar number and chat. About mundane, silly, every day things. How many times did I ask her how to make a pie crust or complain about my kids? How many days is it going to take before I don't pick up the phone to call her and realize she isn't there to answer?<br />
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Grief is an odd feeling. It hits people so differently. I have good minutes, bad hours, not alot of sleep, and this physical pain that I didn't expect. Every muscle in my body hurts. I feel like my nerves are exposed.<br />
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I don't know how to be a girl in a world without a mother.CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-45013437378471259972018-05-07T11:41:00.002-03:002018-05-07T11:41:47.622-03:00calm quieti'm having a hard time lately coming up with ideas to blog about. things are relatively easy and quiet with my life these days. which is very unsettling for me.<br />
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so today, it's not much of a post. more of a check in. to remind myself of the things i've gone through. the things i've done.<br />
<br />
this blog really has become a place of reflection. i go back and read the early posts. how naive, and silly i sounded in my 20's. to how sad and jaded i became after the loss of my beautiful daughter. to where i am now. a divorced mom of two boys, in the midst of her 30's, learning to love again.<br />
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life's short my friends. love hard, laugh a lot, take in the beauty of every day, no matter how hard it is to find it sometimes. <br />
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<br />CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-87458245961926054732018-04-04T09:52:00.002-03:002018-04-04T09:52:34.812-03:00the masks we wearIt's been a week of not so great news. Too much sadness, chaos, and worry. It's easy to get lost in thoughts of what is wrong, what could go wrong. And with all of this, as you might be able to tell from my previous posts, it sends my head spinning in 20 different directions.<br />
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Yesterday at work, someone told me that they always looked forward to seeing me come through their office door, because I always had a smile on my face. That I was able to brighten their day. This got me thinking - do I come across as fake? Lately, I'm generally ok with where things are with life. My kids are happy & healthy. I have a wonderful circle of friends. I've met a great guy, who I'm slowly letting in.<br />
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But yet with all these positive things, there is always an undertone of sadness. Anxiety. Stress. I'm the type of person who tends to expect the worst. Maybe by expecting the worst, I'm not disappointed as often. Yet, I apparently still keep this brighten your day type of smile on my face.<br />
My philosophy is if I'm smiling, maybe people can't see my tears.<br />
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What kind of mask do you wear?<br />
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<br />CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-90085571379718491382018-03-27T15:26:00.001-03:002018-03-27T15:26:41.975-03:00chances of fatei'm not much of a big believer in things happening for a reason. mostly i believe that we meet people for a reason.<br />
<br />
sometimes this takes you by surprise. you might turn a casual acquaintance into a lover, who turns into a wonderful friend. someone who you didn't know at all yesterday might become one of the most important people in your life. and sometimes, people become strangers. it's hard to imagine that someone who 6 months ago was the most important person in your life can become someone "you used to know".<br />
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i don't even know where i'm trying to go with this today. i was listening to a song, that reminded me of one of those important friends today. someone who no matter how our relationship changes, i hope that no matter how the course of our lives change, or who comes into our lives, that we will take those changes and let them intertwine together, so you're always one of the first i want to tell my important to.<br />
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<div jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I never thought that You would be the one to hold my heart</i></div>
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
But you came around</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
And you knocked me off the ground from the start</div>
</span></i></div>
<div jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>You put your arms around me</i></div>
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
You put your arms around me and I'm home</div>
</span></i></div>
<div jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>How many times will let you me change my mind and turn around</i></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown</i></div>
</span></div>
<div jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I hope that you see right through my walls</i></div>
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling...</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</span></i></div>
CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-89560885287845819462018-01-31T18:54:00.001-04:002018-01-31T20:46:57.082-04:00Let’s TalkToday is Bell’s Let’s Talk day. If you are reading this from somewhere else, or are currently residing under a rock, its an initiative to bring awareness and raise funds for mental health.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Mental health. It’s a tough subject. No one wants to admit to having a problem. Suffering silently until sometimes it’s just too much to handle. Unfortunately, I know far too many people who have lost this battle. </div>
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I’m the last one to talk about this in relation to me. But I think that to do so is an effort to be aware, make people understand, and have my voice heard.</div>
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Depression. Anxiety. What I shrug off as “girl brain”. I’ve always been over sensitive to things, super emotional, who can go from laughter to tears to raging mad in a matter of seconds. I question everything and everyone around me. I worry about how I look, what people think, if people like me. I consistently think people are talking negatively about me. That everything that’s not perfect or doesn’t go according to plan somehow is my fault. </div>
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When I lost Jenna, my world collapsed. I couldn’t get out of bed. Couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. Ignored the world.</div>
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When my marriage ended, I became a self proclaimed hermit. I stayed within a small circle of people and didn’t step out of my comfort zone. </div>
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Currently, I can’t even put into words how bad my anxiety is. I’m short tempered. I’m emotional. I’m sure I’m doing every thing wrong. </div>
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But for once, I’m putting all of this out for you to read. If anyone’s reading. This is so very far out of my comfort zone that my stomach is in knots just thinking about it. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Let’s talk. Every day. Not just today. </div>
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<div>
<img alt="" id="id_cce2_5282_1b04_a554" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-vymc7yioX9c/WnJJCHhxHoI/AAAAAAAAA70/taCIbGHXUl0IfV3Rlv2Mlr3lfCOW247pQCHMYCw/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" style="height: auto; width: 353px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-78631532694810843662018-01-23T10:37:00.002-04:002018-04-04T09:53:17.615-03:00snowy tuesday thoughts<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
“Do good and good things will come your way.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
“What goes around comes around..”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
“Smile, forgive & let karma take care of the rest.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up this morning to a snowfall, which always puts a
smile on my face. There’s something
about the calm quiet that comes with an early morning snow, the fresh coat of
white that blankets the slush, grey of January that makes me feel very much at
peace.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That got me to thinking about fresh starts. Karma.
The notion that if you’re a good person, good things will come your
way. I wish I believed in that. I like to think I’m a good person. Most of the time. So it’s hard to watch good fortune come to
all those around me, while I just go through the motions of struggling through
the days. While I believe that the life
we live shapes us, forms us, makes us or breaks us, a person can only take so
many negative things until eventually that strength is threatened. I say all the time how blessed I am that I’m
surrounded by good friends, a wonderful family, and I know I’m blessed to have
a roof over my head, and food on my table.
So what’s missing? God, I wish I
knew. There’s just this feeling of the little
rain cloud over my head, telling me I could be doing better, that I’m just not
quite good enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t get me wrong. I
know that everyone has their trials and tribulations. Illness, abuse, hunger, financial
worries. We all have our experience with
these things. And if you haven’t been
touched by any of those, you are a lucky soul.
Truly. I’ve battled most of these
things, and I know I’m a strong person.
But this strong person feels very near the edge of breaking. So when that happens, who’s there to pick up
the pieces?<o:p></o:p></div>
CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-21461233547730610852018-01-22T17:00:00.000-04:002018-01-22T17:00:51.806-04:00love of the truest kind<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s not much I’m prouder of than the 2 little boys I
share my world with. My sons are the
best part of me. It’s funny, I never
pictured myself as a so-called “mom of boys” before I had children. But now, I can’t imagine any different
scenario.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My house is messy, loud, full of hockey sticks, a never
ending supply of fart jokes, and wrestling.
My house is also full of laughter and love. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I think that being a single mom is giving me an interesting
outlook on how to parent these little boys.
To turn them into strong men, who will be able to cook, clean, take care
of bills, all while being kind, caring, thoughtful & loyal. There’s a certain perception of someone being
a Momma’s boy. It’s a special bond
between a mother and son. I will forever
be their biggest fan, the loudest one in the stands cheering them on, beaming
with pride at their accomplishments. But
in return, the fierce love and protection that my sons offer me give me hope
that I am raising kids that I hope will turn out to be wonderful husbands,
fathers, and members of whatever community it is that they end up settling down
in.<br />
<br />
I just hope that these boys will grow up to be as proud of me as I am of them.<br />
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<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
“Raising boys is an
honour & an adventure”<o:p></o:p></div>
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CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-23928770478807078492018-01-18T17:00:00.000-04:002018-01-18T17:00:58.528-04:00cognizantThe spiciness of a good red wine, the sound of rain on the windows, the calm quiet that accompanies a nighttime snowfall.<br />
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I have been noticing lately that I'm far more aware of things around me. My senses are either getting sharper or I'm just taking time to enjoy things a little more. For the most part, life's pretty good these days. It isn't easy, but it's good. <br />
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As always, there's music playing around in my mind, and lately this song has been hitting pretty close to where I think I am in life. :)<br />
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<br />CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-21653582868854913492018-01-17T16:00:00.002-04:002018-01-17T16:00:24.534-04:00life & loveSo for the last couple of days, I've been meaning to write a post. And for the last couple of days, I've stared at a blank page.<br />
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Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about regret. That started the wheels spinning. Then this morning, I woke up remembering that today marks 3 years since my grandmother passed away. And so here I am - with a multitude of things running around in my mind.<br />
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Some of my fondest memories of my childhood were spent with my grandmother. Summers at the camper, Blue Jays games, road trips,WWF wrestling, green fingernail polish, and so many other things come to mind when I think of that lady. She was a ball of fire, and I know how proud she'd be of the choices I've made in my life - even if other people disagree with some.<br />
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I know she'd be proud of me because I made the choice to be happy. To live life. To not settle for less than best. This brings me to the conversation surrounding regret. I don't live with that. I try to think of everything as a life lesson. The things I've been through, the decisions I've made - they've all made me into the person I am today. Sure, I've done some things I'm not proud of. We all have. But if at the end of the day, I can sleep at night, and smile during the day, I'm doing something right. Something I know my Nan would be proud of.<br />
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<br />CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-21733500449892813022018-01-10T14:01:00.000-04:002018-01-10T14:01:59.853-04:00Patience is Key... I guessI've written quickly about the end of my marriage... and touched on single life in my mid-30's. And so begins the saga of the dating world at this juncture. <br />
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I've been lucky enough to have had a couple of relationships in the last 2+ years, both with wonderful men who I'm thankful I'm still able to count amongst my circle of friends. However, unfortunately, I find myself back in the pool of singles.<br />
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Do you know how hard it is to meet someone when you aren't either in school or barhopping? After taking some time to heal my heart after the end of my last relationship, I find myself looking yet again. So, what do you do? You join the online dating scene. For someone like me, who's not good at seeing the positive things about myself, it's very difficult to come up with a "profile". For me, it's hard to come across as someone fun, confident & interesting, when really, I'm just a normal single mom who works hard to take care of my kids and myself.<br />
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However, I made the big step, did the best I could, and now let the internet gods take control. Ugh.<br />
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CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-59992110153891681242018-01-08T11:09:00.000-04:002018-01-08T11:09:17.958-04:00theme songsI've always been a believer in the power of music. There's a song for every mood, every moment, every part of our lives. For every beginning, every ending, and everything in between, I'm able to find music that fits that part of me.<br />
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During a wine filled conversation a few weeks ago, this exact topic came up. I've always related to the song "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. And before you think horribly of my personality because of what the connotation of that word is - have a look at the chorus lyrics of that song:<br />
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: DroidSansRegular, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;">I'm a bitch, I'm a lover</span></b></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: DroidSansRegular, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;">I'm a child, I'm a mother</span></b></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: DroidSansRegular, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;">I'm a sinner, I'm a saint</span></b></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: DroidSansRegular, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.747px;">I do not feel ashamed</span></b></span></i></div>
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<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="font-size: 13.747px;">I'm your hell, I'm your dream</span></b></span></i></div>
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<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="font-size: 13.747px;">I'm nothing in between</span></b></span></i></div>
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<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="font-size: 13.747px;"><b>You know you wouldn't want it any other way</b></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I always related to this song - even when I was younger. But as I get older, it rings more and more true. It hits every level of what it means to be me. Just because I call this my "theme song" however doesn't mean that there aren't hundreds more songs that I relate to. Turn on any song and you will find some relation to something in your life. Turn it up, sing it loud, and enjoy.</span></div>
</span>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-3213842460560882842018-01-01T13:28:00.001-04:002018-01-01T13:29:32.274-04:00Write A Story... Last night, while surrounded by the sound of laughter, chatter, and the noise that comes from a gathering of people, I got lost in my own mind for a few minutes. Reflecting on the year that has come to an end. Of the experiences and people who made 2017 what it was.<div><br></div><div>It was a year of ups and downs - new friendships, relationships that came to an end, and challenging myself to try new things and go new places. I’m truly blessed to be able to have the freedoms I do, and the people that are in my life are truly wonderful.</div><div><br></div><div>Granted, 2017 was not without its sadness. I struggled with some health issues, family troubles and not accomplishing certain personal goals that I had set for myself. </div><div><br></div><div>I always find the idea of a new year kind of intimidating. People set themselves resolutions and most don’t accomplish those goals. There is this incredible pressure that I always put upon myself to do just that. I’m going to try and go into 2018 without that pressure on myself. I want to wrap myself up in enjoying every day as it comes, sipping good wine, reading more, listening more, taking in the beauty around me.</div><div><br></div><div>There are 365 blank days ahead. Every day is a blank page, to write a story, to fill with memories.</div><div><br></div><div>Cheers!</div>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-47884087516862362932017-12-19T16:01:00.002-04:002017-12-19T16:01:23.269-04:00that love...so if anyone is actually out there reading this, you may remember a few years ago that my mom is a cancer survivor - stage 4 ovarian cancer, diagnosed on 12/24/09.<br />
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my rock star mom underwent 6 rounds of chemo, and a full hysterectomy and has been cancer free ever since. she's been not feeling quite right the last month or so, but after multiple rounds of bloodwork, ultrasounds and CT scans, we were finally given the all clear that cancer is not the cause of what's been going on. thank god.<br />
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the phone call she made to my father to tell him the good news - "no lumps, no bumps - all clear", set my dad into tears. not just a few, but crying to the point of not being able to continue the conversation. my dad is not an emotional man, not by any stretch of the imagination. but the relief that was exuding from both of them was something to watch, and feel. <br />
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i want that kind of love. the kind where someone can't bear the thought of living without you. when the news of a healthy checkup can set them to tears.<br />
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after 39 years of marriage, they truly are an example of what true love is. everyone should be so lucky.CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-59630522014355399242017-12-18T08:36:00.001-04:002017-12-18T08:36:32.388-04:00Day 6 - me againThis week I celebrated a birthday. Not a milestone, just another trip around the sun. 2017 was a year I enjoyed for the most part. Friends, family, adventures & new things. It’s definitely seen it’s share of ups and downs.<br />
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Currently it’s on a bit more of a down but here’s to being 37. Photo taken yesterday - my first full day of a new year. </div>
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<img alt="" id="id_f036_80bb_6eb1_da1e" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ENipYs1Yco0/WjXm1LJUBdI/AAAAAAAAAqs/MBU1WSxqFycc0KRglDYWrrZsoiaW0rkvwCHMYCw/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" style="height: auto; width: 353px;" title="" tooltip="" />CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-73309285406870639992017-11-24T12:51:00.002-04:002017-11-24T12:51:52.884-04:00Day 5 - FriendshipToday's challenge was my favourite photo of my best friend. Well, that would be a picture heavy photo because I'm blessed with this amazing trio of friends, who are there for me regardless of what's going on!<br />
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Friends that are there for you at your very worst - from the night you & your husband split up, and take care of you on your first childless Christmas; showing up with wine & chocolate at the end of a relationship; cooking you dinner when you've had a horrible day for no reason at all - and then at your very best - concerts, boating, beaches, sledding, Wine Wednesday, and memory making!<br />
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I'm lucky. For I have these friends. Who would do anything for me, and in return, I would walk through fire for. I only hope that the three of you know I much I appreciate you all, for every aspect of friendship you bring to the table. <br />
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Friends that became family. That we have.<br />
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<br />CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-46392238071148747672017-11-23T13:12:00.001-04:002017-11-23T13:12:24.071-04:00Day 4 - Past meSo one of the items on the 30 day blog list is a photo of myself from 2 years ago.<br />
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This photo was taken after I went whale watching for the first time, on my 10 year wedding anniversary. I was blissed out happy that day. Amazes me how much has changed, how much I have changed.<br />
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<br />CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-6026192243045548672017-11-20T08:29:00.000-04:002017-11-23T13:12:34.333-04:00Day 3 - ChesterBlog for 30 day Challenge...<br />
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I am obviously failing at 30 consecutive days in a row, but am using the 30 day list as more of a guide for days when I feel like I need to write something - but have no idea what to do! So, I guess we'll call this day 3 :)<br />
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I live in this beautiful little corner of the world:<br />
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Seriously, how lucky am I?<br />
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Beautiful scenery, access to beaches, kayaking, the smell of the ocean, and a cool little vibe.<br />
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Most of the time, I love everything about this place. :) </div>
CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-63125073649524955552017-11-09T17:19:00.001-04:002017-11-14T13:59:59.979-04:00Troll Doll? Like seriously? Wtf is wrong with me that I can't get a second date? Am I missing something glaring?<div><br></div><div>Most of the time I'm ok with being on my own. But this week is kicking my ass emotionally and it really sucks that I'm alone all the time. </div><div><br></div><div>:(</div>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-89873477866632760182017-11-06T13:33:00.000-04:002017-11-06T13:33:19.997-04:00It's A Scary WorldIt's been a tough day to be a parent in my little village.<br />
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There was a threatening note found at the local high school on Friday. With no statement from the school board, RCMP or schools, you can only imagine what happened when parents of students at this school caught wind of it. The gusts of social media gossip started, and completely spun out of control. <br />
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Some parents chose to keep their children home. If I'd had a child at the high school, I likely would have done the same. There was no mention of violence towards the other 2 schools in our community, yet some parents from these schools also chose to let their kids stay home today.<br />
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I opted to send my kids. I felt like a bad mom, but once I started to really think about it, I came to a couple of conclusions. First of all, with all the media, parents, and police officers at all the schools, today was likely to be the safest day to send the boys to school. Secondly, I could use this as an educating tool. I talked to both my kids about guns, violence, bullying, and safety. They both wanted to go to school today. This was my choice, and I don't blame anyone who kept their kids home. School should be a safe zone for our kids. It makes me so sad that kids as young as 4 years old are being taught lockdown procedures at school. Yet this is the world we are living in.<br />
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People do bad things. We can't avoid it, and have to learn how to live with the times we are raising our kids in. This world is a big scary place, and we're all doing our best to raise happy, well adjusted kids, all while trying not to be scared to let our kids outside to play, to go to school, or even go to church.<br />
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I want to give a huge shout out to the teachers who are doing their best to teach our kids - not only are they teaching them the basic school work, but they have to deal with things like today. Why the doors of the school are locked, why there are police onsite, what to do if something unthinkable happens. They're doing the best they can, and I felt safe and confident in my decision to send my children to their care today. <br />
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Good job CDS and CAMS. I'm sorry for the inevitable fallout of what's to be said in the days to come. There's nothing that can be done to make every parent of every child happy, but I'm glad you had my kids today. CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19387026.post-30332633877451403562017-10-18T23:01:00.001-03:002017-10-20T15:23:28.592-03:00Day 2.I may do these slightly out of order, depending on how the day goes. <div><br></div><div>Because I inhaled my supper tonight after kickboxing class, I'm jumping ahead to "a photo of an animal you'd love to have as a pet"</div><div><br></div><div>I want a dog. Nothing exotic. Nothing crazy. I just don't have a stable enough lifestyle yet. But some day... I'll have a puppy.</div><div><br></div><div><img id="id_3b26_9cdb_50b4_49a9" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-uKTtmS83jSM/WegHXRY1OtI/AAAAAAAAAh4/oNoBWrIk7owsWA9XNJx6MvETaZzXsEOdgCHMYCw/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 298px; height: auto;"><br><br></div>CrYshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00377659880724885149noreply@blogger.com0